I was not looking forward to writing this post. Today, I relapsed on my plan. It was going well until I ended up going to a restaurant in the afternoon. I had a rewards card and part of that rewards card, was a free pastry item since my birthday just recently passed. It was free, and the carrot cupcake was calling out to me. I have since moved on and below I share some of that might have contributed to it.
Other than that, I was on plan. However, I did not start the morning as great as I wanted it to be. I read through
Step 4 - which was about creating a moral inventory about our lives. As I started the chapter, I thought - "well, I am generally an okay person, no major crimes or anything."
Then the questions towards the end of the chapter. They were damning. To recount all the ways I have hurt myself and hurt others really broke me. It colored the rest of my day. I did not interact with anyone and even canceled a scheduled dinner appointment because of the shame of my moral failures. I thought I had gone over them. I wish I could rid myself of this burden, this guilt.
Update: Started on my moral inventory. A guide can be found in this
pdf newsletter.
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